


let's break the bed

by dansunedisco



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Accidents, Bad Sex, Happy Ending, Humor, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Mild Blood, Minor Injuries, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Sexual Humor, Virgin Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 09:36:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7217164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dansunedisco/pseuds/dansunedisco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The thing is-- the thing is, Steve didn’t expect his and Bucky’s first time to be bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let's break the bed

**Author's Note:**

> so this is a part of my '30 days of stucky porn' series, checking off the 'bad sex' trope wherein, uh, they don't actually get around to doing the do. oops? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The thing is-- the thing is, Steve didn’t expect his and Bucky’s first time to be bad. It’s not like he had a grand fantasy about it or anything; he just always figured sex would be simple, because most things between the two of them end up that way: simple. Sniper coverage, back-to-back combat, sharing the load when Steve got sick or when Bucky was laid off at the docks right before the war; all of it comes to them so easily, like breathing or blinking, so it would make sense, really, that Steve’s sex-expectations would line right up with that set bar. Where he lacked in experience, he’d make up in vigorous enthusiasm, and all of Bucky’s know-how and can-do would fill in whatever else.

And it did start off real great. Near six months of tiptoeing around each other led to an explosive kiss and an overdue confession, and then more-- deliberate touches that spiraled into tonight.

But now Steve’s bleeding, he’s pretty sure Bucky’s concussed, the bed is broken (the headboard snapped in half and hanging pitifully off center, from where he’d accidentally launched Bucky up and over his head in a fit of extreme enthusiasm; see: above), and he’s getting to think he will never, ever get to see Bucky naked again. If only for their safety, and the safety of others. He paid over two grand for the bed frame.

“Fuck, Stevie--” Bucky groans; he’s holding a bag of frozen peas to the sizeable goose egg on his forehead, and a pillow over his lap, “if I knew what I was gettin’ into, I would’ve worn a helmet. Maybe some knee pads. Taken an aspirin. Warn a guy next time. _Christ Almighty._ ”

“Buck,” he says, trying to wedge _I’m really, really sorry_ and _dammit don’t kid around I almost killed you during our very first sex act_ into a singular syllable. He flushes red then, swallowing thick around the real reason why he even chucked Bucky in the first place, “I’ve never-- I mean, this is kind of my first time--”

A weird expression spasms across Bucky’s face suddenly, and Steve grabs him by the shoulders-- he’s worried, he’d be stupid to not be worried; he just gave his ex-assassin cyborg boyfriend (partner?) with a long-standing brain trauma _more head trauma_ \-- but Bucky just shrugs his hands off with a deep frown. “You didn’t tell me you were a virgin,” he says, sullen and put out, like Steve just told him his puppy ran away.

“I mean, I’m pretty sure it was _implied_. I never got around to doing anything before, y’know,” Steve gestures to his body height-wise; _before the change_ , like he’s a werewolf on the full moon or something, “you were kind of a black hole when it came to people, and I was the tiny, little asteroid they bypassed on their way to you.”

“Mm, baby, tell me all about my event horizon compressing people into anti-matter-- yeesh, and you wonder why none of the dames ever wanted to talk to your morbid ass,” Bucky shudders, but he quickly jabs a finger right into Steve’s sweaty pec. He misses Steve’s nipple by a hair. “But what I meant to say is you were gonna let me stick you without any of real warm-up, so no fucking wondering you tossed me. Heh.”

Steve rolls his eyes. _Tossed salad_ is Bucky’s favorite 21st century euphemism of the month. “Can’t be that hard.”

“ _You’re_ hard,” --another lame comeback favorite-- “but, trust me, putting something up your ass for the first time ain’t exactly a cakewalk. It’s not like warming a lady up.”

“How would you--?”

“I mean, other than being systematically fucked over by Hydra for seventy years--”

“--Buck!”

“--I did experiment a little,” he finishes with a wink, and tosses the bag of peas to the side. He gives a great, gusty sigh and gestures to his dick. “Looks like I’m out of commission for the time being, doll. Come on; up, up. Lemme get that glass outta your hands.”

Steve shakes out of his stupor-- it never fails to stun him, the flippant way Bucky sometimes talks about his time under Hydra’s control-- and follows Bucky out of the bedroom to the bathroom. There’s a mild ache in his palms from where he braced his fall on a shattered crystal vase (after swiping it straight off the nightstand in his haste to help Bucky after he’d thrown the guy sky high; furthermore, why the heck did he have a crystal vase in the first place). “How’s your head?” he asks.

Bucky shrugs one shoulder (“the mean one”, as he’s taken to referring to the metal arm). “Nothing a nap won’t fix.”

“Unless it’s a concussion, in which case--”

“In which case I’m still taking a fucking nap, and you can wake me up every hour on the hour. Now give me your damn hands.”

Steve presents his injuries with a severe eye roll like the rarely obedient soldier he is, and Bucky begins to delicately pull the shards from his skin with a set of tweezers Steve didn’t even know he had lying around. Figures Bucky would find them, though.

“Shit,” Bucky breathes, and Steve looks down to watch-- he was a little distracted with watching Bucky’s mouth and the way his tongue rolled down across his lower lip in concentration. As soon as a shard is pulled out, the bleeding stops and his skin begins its abnormally fast process of stitching back together. “The difference never ceases to amaze me,” Bucky continues. That is: his serum versus Dr. Erskine’s.

He and Steve-- well, they never really sussed out the exact particularities between them. Mostly because Steve didn’t want to become a lab rat (and after so successfully dodging it the first time, what with the USO tour and then the war), and Bucky because, well, everyone knows why he avoids doctors. “Except for the shrinks,” he remarked one night, balancing a bowie knife lengthwise on his metal knuckles, “they’re alright, but only because I can sit there on an hour and not say shit.”

At the end of the day, it didn’t really matter. None of it did-- Captain America or the Winter Soldier and all the thresholds they had and could surpass. SHIELD and Hydra’s released files post-Project Insight had enough detail to quell the curiosity of most everyone on the planet. Funnily enough, though, the two subjects of said scrutiny couldn’t give less of a damn about the whole rigamarole.

It doesn’t take long for Bucky to pick Steve’s hands free and clear, and by the time they clean up the bedroom (haul out the headboard, sweep up the vase, toss the sheets in a cold wash to keep the blood from setting), it’s late; “Way past my bedtime,” Bucky says, like he’s actually feeling his age and not trying to worm his way out of having sex with Steve for the first time without making it special. It’s a little frustrating because, hey, Steve’s been waiting nearly seventy years for this opportunity, but Bucky’s reluctance puts a warm feeling in his gut nevertheless. Bucky treating him like some delicate, special dame-- it twists at something inside of him that perhaps shouldn’t. So they crawl into bed with nothing more than a chaste kiss, and Steve falls asleep in the circle of Bucky’s arms for the first time in far too long.

&

“Buck-- wake up.”

“If you wake me up _one more goddamn time_ \--”

**Author's Note:**

> i may or may not do a part 2 to this where virgin!steve becomes very much less so. yay/nay?


End file.
